The battle of the exams
The battle of the exams begins in June. The students are on one side, the enemy, that includes Arithmetic, Italian, Science, History, Geography, Art, etc. is on the other. The battle is structured in two phases: the first is shot by written cannons, the second by oral cannons. The students’ cannons fling blunders of any calibre: from F to C. Some Arithmetic cannons, for example, are able to throw at a great distance 2+2=5, that is an F calibre blunder. A fiery and pungently smoky language comes out of the mouth of a Italian cannon, due to ill-form. There are first class cannons that casually fire, Itaglia with a g. The enemy fires back with huge led bombs, that explode in a million pieces, throwing massacring pricks all over. So, dear kids, the battle seems hell: essays and problems cross compositions and answers in the heated air, interrogations with answers, among smoke and lightning, and the crashes of “D”s, the thunder of “E”s and the rumbles of “F”s. On the other hand, when the students hit the target and fling 2+2=4, and Italia without a g, the enemy responds by greeting, with cannons that have a C to A calibre. In the opposed artillery, the most fatal arm is the Arithmetic cannon, with four mouths, that correspond to the four operations, and it is able to crush a child in fractions. Another terrible weapon is the repetition cannon, so-called because, with a firing, it has millions of children repeating their exams. The rumble of the firing is so strong that it can be heard from June to October.